“Walking in the garden was a serpent-shaped heart and he told me
That what is broken cannot show, and less than beautiful is worse than unholy
Idolized my innocence, stole it from me in the end
Now I’m wide awakened and still paying for the poison they sold me”- Sara Bareilles
These lyrics sung by Sara Bareilles in her song, “Eden” hit home for me. I related to them in such a way that I was compelled to write this post.
They remind me of a relationship I was in and only now can I listen to these lyrics with hindsight and realize what happened. I was being manipulated like a puppet with strings attached and he was controlling my every move. I ate the apple and slowly realized it was saturated with poison.
It’s funny how you can determine a bad relationship from the outside, but are blind to the obvious when you are in one yourself. This relationship was easily the worst I had been in…ever, but, luckily I woke up and saw it with clear eyes before it was too late. However, I can’t take full credit, a few of my best friends were right beside me, speaking truth about what was going on.
Although this relationship was a particularly awful experience, I grew from it and learned so much about myself during my recovery. I got to know me again and that was the greatest gift I could have received. I also learned to never loose sight of what I want and where I am going and no one should ever be in control of that part of me as long as I live.
If anyone is trying to pull you down, run away as fast as you can because if you don’t, they make like a leech and suck out all of your sweet blood at a rapid speed. I’m here to tell you that if you are experiencing jealousy from your partner, change in life patterns or interests, and not feeling appreciated, get out! It is your life to live and no one should be the author of it besides God himself because He truly cares for you and loves you unconditionally.
I know it is easier said than done to end an unhealthy relationship, but in the aftermath, when you have time to be alone in your thoughts, you will experience peace in such a way that you didn’t know existed up until this point.
“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:7